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Wednesday, January 12, 2011

TNA: From Genesis, Some Revelations

While I rarely have free time—or money—to invest in TNA pay-per-views, I was glad I tuned into TNA Genesis on January 9.

On the whole, the show offered lots of drama, some surprises, and solid in-ring action. In general, I thought it was a strong start to what Mike Tenay graciously labeled “the year of the a$$hole” in TNA.

But rather than go through a dry match-by-match analysis, let me offer you the biggest takeaways of the card, from my perspective.

TNA desperately needs to hold its PPVs outside the Impact Zone. It may be an unrealistic expectation, but TNA needs to either hold their feature events in various facilities or dress up the Impact Zone somehow to make its pay-per-views feel like special events. While TNA production values are good, they should be great for PPVs. As it stands, their PPVs, even the ones that deliver in the ring, feel like Impact.

Apparently, some sort of bug is going around the TNA lockerroom. Aside from the excessive spitting in the ring (numerous wrestlers were caught spitting at each other in the ring), several wrestlers, most notably Robert Roode and Jeff Jarrett, literally had the snot beaten out of them, or at least beaten out of their nostrils and on to their facial hair? Hello, Mr. Executive Producer, sir, pan left of that gelatinous blob hanging from Jarrett’s nostril, please. PLEASE!!!!

Sometimes, outside interference is good. My gut reaction when Tara interrupted the Knockouts title match between Mickie James and Madison Rayne was that the bout could’ve done without outside interference. Then I thought, Maybe not. Nobody in his or her right mind would ever believe that Rayne could beat James without help from Tara and a loaded glove. Mickie looked as bouncy as ever in her undersized cut-offs, and Maddie was her usual voluptuous self, but in terms of in-ring performances, it was night and day.

You didn’t see that. Mr. Executive Producer, sir, did I just see Kurt Angle fiddling with a wrapped razor blade? You’re not supposed to show that. Isn’t Rob Terry blasting a snot-rocket somewhere? Why don’t you show him? Indeed, during the MMA exhibition with Jeff Jarrett, the camera cut to Angle, who was crawling on his elbows, and-accidentally we suppose- showed Angle unwrapping something. Fast-forward a few seconds, and Angle is pumping ounces of plasma on to the mat from his head. It was gruesome. It was disturbing. And thanks to some shoddy camera work, it set slight-of-hand back two centuries.

Doug Williams has a hand injury. Thought you should know that, just in case you didn't notice the 5,019 times he looked at his wrapped hand, flexed his wrapped hand, grimaced at his wrapped hand, or shook his wrapped hand, or, if you happened to miss Taz' and Tenay's wall-to-wall commentary on Doug Williams' wrapped hand. Was there any way Williams was leaving Genesis with the TV title?

Love is in the air. Hey, No doubt in my mind that Taz is as badass as they come, but I have to say I was more than a little shocked by the attention he paid to Kazarian in the opening bout of the show. At one point, a clearly aroused Taz squealed that Kazarian looks like Antonio Banderas. Nice of you to notice, Taz. ... but creepy of you to say. Maybe I'd have been a little lest flustered if Orlando Jordan was calling the action.

—Frank Krewda

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